I needed a day like today…a mix of relaxing, spending time with Brett and Elanor, getting outside, and doing fun things with other people.

I’m hoping to post more soon. Things have been a little crazy around our house, with our recent trip to Portland and our subsequent readjustment to life at home. Plus my Flickr pro account expired and I’m lame and haven’t wanted to spend the $25 to renew it, so I haven’t been able to upload pics in a while, or I’d just do a photo post. How’s *that* for a lame excuse?

Anyway, that’s about it. Nothing earth-shattering to report, just life as usual around here.

I started casually looking around for something, but nothing seemed right. In November, I posted about some “potentially exciting developments,” which was a job I’d been interviewing for that fell through shortly after I posted that, which is why I never mentioned it again. I had two or three other opportunities cross my path during December and early January, all of which fell through, too. It was extremely frustrating. With all of these, we’d gotten to the point of discussing when I could start when suddenly something happened that made it not work out.

Meanwhile, things were really stressful at work for Brett. Details aside, due to some changes in his role at work, we started talking about what in the heck we’re supposed to actually do with our lives, long-term. This conversation began at the end of November, and quickly came around to him wanting — again — to apply to grad school. We talked about how if he were to get his MFA (Master of Fine Arts) degree, he would be able to apply for teaching jobs, since it’s the terminal degree in his field. He’s talked about wanting to teach for years, as long as I’ve known him, really, and due to these changes at work, all of this came to a head and it suddenly seemed like applying to grad school might make sense.

I’ve resisted for a long time the idea of him going to grad school. Honestly, the way that Maine went, I was in no way eager to have him be in school again. Maine was extremely difficult on me, especially, and it was hard on our relationship and our finances in ways that still affect us, four years after leaving.

So after thinking and praying about it, I laid down some guidelines for him. He could investigate grad school, on these conditions:

1. We canNOT go deeper into debt for him to do this. His school loans from undergrad alone will take us a lifetime to repay, not to mention the consumer debt we incurred during that time, which we are still working on; we cannot do anymore. And that immediately ruled out private schools, which cost almost double his annual salary for only one year of schooling, and most programs are two or three years. Yikes.
2. He has to maintain his hours at work so as to keep our health benefits, and so I won’t have to go back to work full-time. Due to my heart stuff, I *have* to have group health coverage, and we need to be able to pay our bills (and I already worked and supported him through one degree) so he has to keep working.
3. I need a support network in place for day-t0-day life, and we need to lay out clear expectations of what our lives and our limited time together and our responsibilities surrounding our home and Elanor will look like if/when he attends school.

So, with that in mind, and with private schools excluded due to cost, we started investigating public schools, and realized that the application deadlines were about two weeks away at UC Berkeley and San Francisco State University.

He quickly scrambled and filled out an application for each, and sent them off within hours of the deadlines.

And then we waited.

Meanwhile, I was still trying to find work. Finances were growing ever-tighter (with Brett’s changing role at work also came a salary change…great…just what we needed. I thought things couldn’t get any tighter, but then — hey! they did!), and my anxiety was through the roof. In desperation, in mid-January I posted an ad on Craigslist that I was willing to do childcare.

I had a couple of bites that didn’t work out, and then, just as I was getting ready to, I don’t know, sell some stuff at a pawn shop or donate plasma, I heard back from a family looking for care for their infant girl.

Within two weeks, the deal was struck, and I’m now looking after her four days a week. Obviously, I won’t blog much about her here, but there you have it.

We’re entering our third week now, and everyone is slowly adjusting to the new normal. It’s been rough on Elanor (and of course she was sick the first week, which did NOT help matters) but we’re managing. More about that in a later post.

In that same span of time, Brett’s heard back from both schools — and he was accepted to both UC Berkeley and SFSU! I’m so proud of him. SO proud!! Berkeley is a very, very big deal…he was one of seven students accepted to the MFA program out of over 200 applicants. Wow! Just…wow. I’m so excited for him.

He’s actually at an orientation there today, so I’m excited to hear more tonight when he gets home. But it looks, so far, like the practical elements of my conditions will work out: he’ll still be able to work, the cost of schooling will be manageable, there are lots of benefits available for students with families (grants, fellowships, reduced-cost preschool, health insurance, etc) at a school as large as Berkeley, and he will have the opportunity to even teach an undergrad course (for pay!) in his second year.

With Brett finally taking steps to act upon his long-term goals and dreams, it’s spurred me to do the same, and I’m going to start pursuing becoming an IBCLC-certified lactation consultant! I realized, a while back, that I would be really good at it, and that I’m passionate about breastfeeding and helping women breastfeed successfully. I’ve been involved in our local La Leche League group here in San Francisco since shortly after we moved here, and I love it. It’s going to take me a few years to do this (the process is very rigorous, especially for someone with no nursing degree) but I’m hoping that I can sit for the exam in a few years. By the time Elanor is a bit older (say, elementary school-age), I’d love to be practicing.

So there you have it. Lots of changes. I’m working, Brett’s going back to school, and we finally feel like we have a viable, longer-term plan for our lives. We feel a little strange that we’re nearly 30 and only just now figuring all of this out, but better late than never, right?

I could keep yammering on, but I’ll stop. That’s the big stuff. Hopefully I’ll get back to blogging about the little stuff soon!

I’ll let the photos speak for themselves.

Halfway through, Brett decided to join in. I think he’s referencing this video piece he recently did.

Oh, and about the title, I’ve been reading “Raising Your Spirited Child” lately, and this video seems to be a good encapsulation of just how spirited both Elanor and her papa are.

No matter how ridiculous this may seem, at least I can say that life around our house is almost never boring.

I got a tattoo.

I know, right? Me? A tattoo???

Believe it or not, the evidence is below.

Our friends Graham and Emily are friends with a guy named Chuck, who is a traveling tattoo artist and long-time friend of Graham’s. Chuck is in town visiting Graham, and he brought all of his gear. Graham and Emily and Chuck came over for dinner on Thursday night, and once we’d finished eating our potato soup and beer bread and put Elanor to bed, Chuck got out his kit.

A few hours before everyone arrived, Brett said — jokingly, I thought — that we should get matching tattoos.

I laughed him off at first, but then I realized he was serious. And a little part of me thought, “Okay…maybe we should.”

And before I knew it, Brett was getting the tattoo he’d planned on getting, followed by the one we’d both talked about getting.

And then it was my turn.

Yikes.

I was a little freaked out, but I kept telling myself that if I’d had almost 24 hours of unmedicated labor, I could stand 10 minutes of pain from a tattoo.

And I did it!

We both got little hearts on our left inner arms. They’re modeled after the hearts in Super Mario Brothers 2…cheesy, I know. It’s not that game has any kind of special significance for us; I always liked how those little hearts looked.

Cheesy though it may be, I really like how it turned out. I had a few OMG-what-did-I-just-do moments the next day, but I really am pleased with it and glad I got it.

And without further ado, here are the pics. (Pardon my hair. Ugh! It looks ridiculous. I had had it pulled back all day and took the clips out while I was putting Elanor to bed, so it looks…uh…not great.) And I don’t have a pic of Brett’s heart, but it’s the same as mine and in the same spot.

Brett getting his first tattoo of the night

Brett’s first tattoo of the evening: the outline of a medium-format film negative

Yikes!

Finished product!

While I know I’ll never have full tattoo sleeves or anything, I am already planning my next tattoo. If you’d have told me that a year ago, I wouldn’t have believed you. I guess it just goes to show how people change in unexpected ways over time.

Anyway, since it’s Thanksgiving as I’ve done in years past, I’m going to talk about a few things I’m thankful for. The past few weeks have been a little hard on me, just life catching up to me, I guess. So I suppose I need this exercise in counting my blessings.

Obviously, the first thing on my list is Elanor and Brett. I think that’s a given. Elanor is an amazing kid, and although being her mom is extremely challenging at times, she’s the most fantastic little person I know. And Brett…through hard times and good ones, he’s a great guy, a great dad to Elanor, and a great husband. He works so hard and I know he does it because he loves Elanor and me.

I’m thankful that we’ve seemed to have a calm, uneventful year since May. No near death experiences, no car accidents, no layoffs…I really hope this trend continues.

I’m glad we live here in San Francisco, in our cozy, wonderful home, finally able to relax and enjoy life after a few really hard years.

I’m also especially thankful for the friends we’ve made since we moved here. Emily W and Emily K, Laura, Sarah, the La Leche League ladies, our neighbors downstairs, the greater moped and FourBarrel communities — we really have a community here, only after 6 months. Our dinner party today is a great cross-section of those groups: my stepbrother Jason (who lives in Reno and came down for the weekend), Dan, Emily, and Jack, two of Brett’s co-workers, our downstairs neighbors, and our friends Claire and Isaac whom we know from SPU.

I’m thankful, too, for what I’m learning about grace of all kinds: God’s grace, experiencing grace from other people, having grace for those around me. It’s a big, lifelong lesson, obviously, but it seems that this year has been particularly focused on this theme.

We have so much to be thankful for. It’s good to type it all out and see it in list form; I should do this more often.

Happy Thanksgiving, everyone!

Tonight, we played Settlers of Catan with some friends. It’s been a recent obsession for Brett and me; I’d played it a few years ago with our friends Katie and Jon but Brett had never played it until a few weeks ago. The day after he played it for the first time, he insisted we go out and buy it for ourselves. We did, and now we’re hooked.

The only way to describe it is that it’s like a cross between Risk and Monopoly, and, in my opinion, a million times more interesting than either of those games.

There’s something so compelling about it: the logic, the strategy, the planning that’s required as you play…and yet, there’s the element of randomness in terms of what numbers are rolled that makes it truly interesting. I’ve played some really awesome rounds and some really terrible ones. Like tonight. I got hemmed in on all sides by other people and I couldn’t build anything else so I just gave up after a while.

Anyway, you are supposed to have at least three people to play but Brett and I have been playing with just the two of us as we learn and become familiar with how to play. It’s led to some really fun evenings lately!

It seems like the kind of game that we’ll just keep playing over and over for years to come. I’d imagine there’s always something new to learn as one plays it. So if you’re looking for a new board game, or for something new to do with your family, and you enjoy strategy-based games, I highly recommend it!

Today, since we are victims of a cold at our house (even our houseguest Nate has caught it…I feel awful about that), I’m asking for your favorite natural cold remedies, especially ones to help kids who are too young to take OTC medication.

Here’s what we’ve been doing: Brett and I have been using slippery elm lozenges alternated with elderberry/zinc lozenges, drinking tons of tea with honey in it as well as other liquids (like elderberry juice), and eating lots of garlic. I’ve also done the apple cider vinegar mixed with honey drink, which seemed to help.

He and I are holding up okay (in fact I feel better today than I have all week) but poor Elanor is just not doing so great. She’s really congested, and now she’s coughing a ton. I just got her down for a nap and in the 30 minutes she’s been down she’s woken up twice because she’s coughed so hard she started to gag.

For her, I’m trying to push fluids, too (juice, tea with honey, water, nursing), give her warm baths in a very steamy bathroom, and try to prop her torso up while she sleeps. But other than that, I’m kind of at a loss. I’ve been trying to get her to just eat honey off a spoon but she won’t…I may try to have Brett do it later. Maybe if he tries she’ll do it.

I’ve heard that Eucalyptus Radiata oil, put into a bath, can help. I may run out and get some tonight. I’m also toying with getting (or borrowing, if I can find someone with one locally) a vaporizer.

Does anyone have a tried-and-true remedy that’s safe to use on little ones? I’d really appreciate it if you’ve got any ideas for how I can help her. I hate seeing her feel icky.

We’ve visited a few churches, and found them to be okay, but not exactly what we’re looking for: Bible-based preaching, good worship music, people we can identify with, and views on children and child rearing that line up with ours. It’s a tall order; I know.

We’re not sure when we should just settle down and go somewhere that we don’t feel is the right fit, just so we’re going to church, period. But a large part of why we want to be in a church is to get to know other people in the church, and if we’re just going somewhere to go through the motions until we find the perfect fit, we probably won’t get to know people very well.

Plus, Brett still works on Sundays, and Elanor’s at an age where she still won’t go in the nursery but isn’t big enough to sit still in church yet, so it’s just kind of hard all around. And I’m not going to lie, I’m a little gun-shy about going to church at all with Elanor these days, because of what happened when we got kicked out of church back in July.

I just keep telling myself that this is a season, and that it will pass, and that we will find a church here eventually. I hope that is true; I’m beginning to really miss that time of worship every week. So, I’ve said it before, but I’ll say it again: if you know of a church you’d recommend in San Francisco, let me know!

Brett: You look cute today, with your cute shirt and frazzly hair.

Me: Frowzy hair? Thanks a lot.

Brett: No, no, Frazzly hair. Like Frazzle Rock?

Me: [rolling eyes] Uh, you mean Fraggle Rock? [laughs uproariously]

~~~~~~~~

Sorry for yesterday’s disjointed post. I heard Elanor wake up on the monitor as I was finishing it so I just hit post without editing it much.

Oh, and a shout-out: Happy Birthday to my friend Emily!! I’m so happy we are friends!