Comments on: taking it easy

By: prioritizing - The Leen

prioritizing - The Leen — Fri, 23 Jan 2009 07:09:34 +0000

[...] know I’ve talked before about how after my heart thing, everyone told me to take it easy. People still do. And I feel like this is one area of my life that I can change so that I can take [...]

By: Jenny

Jenny — Wed, 09 Jul 2008 14:06:00 +0000

Looks like these gals have so stellar advice. It is imperative to allow a full recovery. But I understand the psychological end of looking around at chaos… It’s a mind-battle. Maybe you can play mind games with yourself, and pretend that pile of dishes is a pile of gold.

I’m thinking I may not be so helpful afterall… just wanted to check in. I sure hope you are able to find some solutions to help

By: sandra

sandra — Sat, 05 Jul 2008 12:47:00 +0000

my suggestion is similar to akeeyu’s. often people offer their help but are not sure what they can do. having specific jobs is helpful. perhaps you could make a list and have individuals sign up for a task.

good luck!

By: akeeyu

akeeyu — Sat, 05 Jul 2008 07:55:00 +0000

Well, I guess it depends on where your doctors weigh in on this discussion. If they're also saying "Take it easy, and back away from that jumbo jug of Tide, madam," then I would say you have to let it go.

You HAVE to.

Yes, I know. The crumbs! The dustbunnies! The laundry! I know. I did the whole bedrest and recovery thing, and what I learned is that sometimes, you just have to say "Hmmm, what a lovely day to be alive," and not "I wonder if I could do another load of laundry without seriously compromising my health?"

Instead of asking for help in person, you could always send email around to friends and family saying "These are the areas we need help with: laundry, dishes, errand X, mopping, errand Y. Please feel free to give us a call if you can offer assistance." People tend to come through in surprising ways.

By: Jamila

Jamila — Sat, 05 Jul 2008 03:22:00 +0000

Leen,

It’s understandable that you’re having difficulty letting go of things that are meaningful to you, but you’ve got to, just for right now. YES, ask Brett or your SIL to clean – they won’t be doing it because they care about it being clean, but because they’ll be indirectly taking care of you by doing it. ASK for help – I’m sure people at your church would be happy to step in with cleaning and cooking. Prioritize what you NEED to do – for example, we love you but we’d understand if you need to let the blogging/board posting/emailing go for a litle while.

By: Katy

Katy — Thu, 03 Jul 2008 02:00:00 +0000

Hey Lady. I have been thinking about you! I also have a hard time relinquishing control to anybody else. But you absolutely have to watch out for your health here. I have a hard time asking anyone to do anything, so I love those types who just know what to do in a situation like that. Maybe you could talk to your husband and he could put a bug in some relatives’ ears, so someone could come over and without even asking go start a load of clothes or wash up the dishes in the sink. Hang in there.

By: Rachel

Rachel — Tue, 01 Jul 2008 02:54:00 +0000

I guarantee your friends and family want to help and don’t know how. I even bet the people from your church would lend a hand.

By: Kathryn

Kathryn — Mon, 30 Jun 2008 23:34:00 +0000

Dearest Kathleen,

I’m sure that knowing what to let go and what to do is remarkably difficult, and you come by that dilemma honestly as your beloved momma has that same difficulty at times.

Nevertheless, it’s been less than 2months since you came so close to dying. I’m thinking that it won’t take you forever to get back to your normal “go-go-go” mode, but for now, perhaps you can redefine what you “should” do. Perhaps you need a “pre-cardiomyopathy” view, a “recover from cardiomyopathy” view, and soon, a “post-cardiomyopathy” view. No one in the known universe would feel like you were shirking your responsibilities at all if you were doing nothing but part-time work and caring for Elanor.

In addition, since Brett and Rachael are living in your home, I don’t think there is anything unfair about asking for their assistance, guilt-free. Perhaps when you ask for their assistance you could preface your request with something like “I know this won’t last forever, but for now I need your help with … .” Or perhaps the three of you could have an informal sort of “family” meeting where you share with them the same thing you shared in your blog. Maybe if the three of you came up with a solution together you’d feel better about it and wouldn’t feel like you were not living up to your, or their, expectations.

Hang in there sweet pea, perhaps God is trying to help you redefine your expectations of yourself and your family??? Just a thought.

Love & hugs,
Kathryn

By: Molly

Molly — Mon, 30 Jun 2008 22:08:00 +0000

Knowing you Leen, you know your body better than anyone I have ever met.
I think you need to listen to it, and your brain is part of your body, and if things not being clean is giving you axiety and causing more stress for you then you need to clean, within reason, i will add.
i know that your family and friends will jump at helping you with anything you need, and if having clean floors is something you need to help yourself heal, they'll do it.
but i also think that you could do some, just to make yourself feel better. maybe not 5 loads of laundry!!!
just try to put what is bothering you the most first, and work down the list.
things will get easier, trust in that....
all my love and thoughts sent to you
oh and PLEASE PLEASE squeeze that little girl for me!!!! (she looks like Amy to me!!!!)

By: Kris

Kris — Mon, 30 Jun 2008 21:59:00 +0000

I agree with Kristin. Do you have a relative who loves to clean? My sister-in-law loves to clean so I’d ask her to help out where I thought Adam would just stink and I’d wish I’d done the job myself. Maybe give Brett one thing to do in a week… ie get all the clothes put away this week, clean the tub next week?